Color Run!!

So recently, I have signed up for a...

(insert drumroll)

...Color run!!

I'm so excited, I've wanted to do one for a while and the opportunity presented itself, 

so I was all like "let's do this thing!" 

I got a new pair of running shoes and now it's all about getting myself prepped and ready for this 5K!

(which I discovered is 3.1 miles)

I even found this little training regiment 

to get myself in gear.

 I'm not really a runner but I'm looking forward to rising to the challenge. 

Who knows maybe running is my thing? 

I have until September to get ready, plenty of time right? 

(Hope so *fingers crossed*)

by the end of the race I hope to look something like this...

Fun Right?!

I'm not their hero but that doesn't mean that I wasn't brave

Im in love love love with Tegan and Sara's new album, 

its fun, 

amazing lyrically 

and makes me want to dance.

Who could ask for more?

My favorite song for the album right now is... 

(Drum roll)

"I'm not your Hero"

The song just speaks to me. 

I feel like it relates all the things I went though last year.

I feel like I started the year like the begining of the song 

"Standing where I am now, standing up at all
I was used to feeling like I was never gonna see myself at the finish line
Hanging on to parts of me, hanging on at all
I was used to seeing no future in my sight line"

I've come so far from where I was last January, 

I was feeling sad and I was questioning a lot of the things and people around me.

 I was really struggling and somewhere in the following months I decided that I needed to change my way of thinking and start looking towards the positive side of life.

This is where the second part of the song comes into play

 

 "Feeling like I am now lighting up the hall
I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart
Learning all I know now, losing all I did
I never used to feel like I'd be standing so far ahead"

I am so ridiculously happy.

I found someone that completely understands me and loves me no matter what.

I have been given the greatest gift.

*Side Note* I want pizza...

I'm gonna live, I'm gonna fly

I can't believe it's already the end of January, it went by so fast. 

I think that is because its been so busy lately.

Lets do a mini recap...

At the end of December was my Birthday and I turned 26, on the 22nd my cousin turned 27 and on the 26th my Boyfriend turned 28, between all of that I have been working at 2 jobs and trying to maintain a poor excuse for a social life.

 I wanted to create a list of some goals I want to accomplish for 2013

So here I go!

1. Enroll in Art classes

2. Get a new and exciting job that I enjoy

3. Go swimming on a regular basis

4. Finish my Nanowrimo, before the next Nanowrimo starts.

5. Take Circus classes

6. Read more then 25 books

7. Travel to 2 places I've never been before

8. Get my Etsy up and running and productive.

9. Have an adventure

10. Take more chances

11. Go to more Concerts

12. Blog more

Lately I find myself wanting to really give my Esty store a chance, 

I feel like I haven't been putting as much effort as I should into it. 

Its hard for me...

I work so hard on something that I think people will really dig 

and then it sits in my shop forever and never sells.

I get really discouraged when that happens.

 But I think its time for some change.

In the next few weeks I plan on revamping some things.

I am working on a new shop logo, new store policies and thinking of fun and new items to stock in my shop.

I'm also going to invest in advertizing and create some coupon codes.

I want to see a profit for a change...

I'm looking forward to the new year.

Twenty six

In My Mind

  By Amanda Palmer

In my mind
In a future five years from now
I'm one hundred and twenty pounds
And I never get hung over
Because I will be the picture of discipline
Never minding what state I'm in
And I will be someone I admire
And it's funny how I imagined
That I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I've just forgotten how to see
That I am not exactly the person that I thought I'd be

And in my mind
In the faraway here and now
I've become in control somehow
And I never lose my wallet
Because I will be the picture of of discipline
Never fucking up anything
And I'll be a good defensive driver
And it's funny how I imagined
That I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I've just forgotten how to see
That I'll never be the person that I thought I'd be

And in my mind
When I'm old I am beautiful
Planting tulips and vegetables
Which I will mindfully watch over
Not like me now
I'm so busy with everything
That I don't look at anything
But I'm sure I'll look when I am older
And it's funny how I imagined
That I could be that person now
But that's not what I want
But that's what I wanted
And I'd be giving up somehow
How strange to see
That I don't wanna be the person that I want to be

And in my mind
I imagine so many things
Things that aren't really happening
And when they put me in the ground
I'll start pounding the lid
Saying I haven't finished yet
I still have a tattoo to get
That says I'm living in the moment
And it's funny how I imagined
That I could win this, win this fight
But maybe it isn't all that funny
That I've been fighting all my life
But maybe I have to think it's funny
If I wanna live before I die
And maybe it's funniest of all
To think I'll die before I actually see
That I am exactly the person that I want to be

Fuck yes
I am exactly the person that I want to be

My Bucket List

A list of goals to be completed before my end.

I will update and re-post this as I accomplish or add goals.

1. Fly a plane

2. Finish a crocheted blanket

3. Watch baby sea turtles hatch and return to sea.

4. Learn a language fluently

5. Be on Cash Cab

6. Travel the world

London

Paris

Italy

Ireland

Hungry

Greece

Germany

Czech Republic

Dominican Republic

Austria

Slovakia 

 India

Japan

Australia

Lebanon

 Amsterdam

Russia

New Zealand 

Canada

Spain

Mexico

Romania

Denmark

To be Continued...

7. Meet Neil Gaiman

8. Finish my book
9. Get my book Published

10. Go kayaking

11. Go to a tropical beach and spend the day listening to my ipod

12. Be on the news

13.Learn Chinese Silks

14.Get a song shop song by Max Bemis

15. See Death Cab for Cutie Live

16. Learn to ride a Vespa

17. Ride a wave via surfing

18. Learn to Snowboard

19. Row a boat in central park

20. Go to Loch Ness and See Loch Ness monster

21. Learn to breathe fire

22. Adopt a dog

23. Watch a flash mob in person

24. Ride an Elephant

25. Learn the art of Blowing glass

26.Start my own Etsy store and sell my art work

27. Live in Puerto Rico for a year

28. See The Killers Live

29. Buy a Vespa

30. Visit every state in the USA

New York

Florida

New Jersey

Pennsylvania

Georgia

Connecticut

Nevada

Wyoming

South Dakota

Montana

Idaho

Utah 

Illinois

Virgina

North Carolina

To be Continued...

31. Visit Harry Potter world.

32. Ride a horse

33. Touch or swim with a whale

34. See the Northern lights

35. Join the Circus

36. Fly on a trapeze
37. Learn to juggle

To be Continued and Updated...

I'm caught up in this moment, caught up in your smile...

So many thing are changing this year...

I love it.

I felt for so long that I was at a standstill with myself. 

I was at a cross road making no decisions just sitting there wavering back and forth about my future.

For the first time I feel like I'm making progress.

Recently I was watching a video posted by John Green, the author of "Looking for Alaska" and "Paper Towns". I adore this man, he is seriously such an inspiration.

In the video he answers a question "How do I figure out what to do with my life", this is a question I have been struggling with my entire life, I never wanted to close doors for myself so I had a hard time making decisions. John Green attacks the question by disagreeing with it and he's right.

We approach life as the end all be all, we decide our career path and then we meet a person that we want to share life with, we procreate and die. This ideal is so bland. Don't get me wrong I want to do some of that but I also want to do so much more. I want to take advantage of life to the fullest and live, truly Live.

I require sustenance in the form of knowledge and life experiences.

Earlier this year I made a conscience decision to change the way I approached life and since making that decision, my life has changed for the better and I only see things getting better. 

*Side note*  Love life the way you love yourself.

How could this been done by such a smiling sweetheart.

I'm awake and I can't sleep... 

I keep thinking about things that I am putting off... 

I hate it when I get in my head like this, 

It's like a ball of worry and stress climbs into my chest and refused to move. 

The crazy part is that its things that shouldn't stress me out, for instance the fact that I have 2 half written books sitting on my hard drive.

I'm thinking of adopting a "Don't break the chain policy". 

Basically it's forcing yourself to work on something every single day for a allotted period of time. 

One of my biggest flaws happens to be my follow through, it sucks and I'm completely aware of it, yet I do nothing to counter it.

That aside another thing has been chewing at my mind, maybe that a wrong choice of words, not so much chewing but every once in a while it circles back to the forefront.

and the story goes like this...

About a year ago I met a guy... 

Obnoxious, smart, self-righteous, witty, condescending but strangely charming.

He bugged me but I enjoyed his company and we became friends but as these things go I ended up liking him as more then a friend. 

I got the impression that maybe he felt in a similar fashion. 

After a few drinks one night 

(Note: Friends please take my phone away from me when we go drinking, Thanks)

I texted him, This led to an admission of my feelings, to which he replied with a 

"No sweat, just another emotionally unavailable man, a classic trap.

I was taken aback. 

A person that I had come to consider a friend showed such a flagrant disregard for my feelings. I mean "No sweat", that is something you tell your friend after they say thanks for cooking them dinner or lending them a book. 

Well, my my, don't you just hold yourself in high regards.

That was the wake up call that I needed.

I knew at that point that this person was not only not my friend but someone that was severely emotionally stunted. Honestly, he could have handled things in a way that retained our friendship.

Here are some examples:

"I'm sorry, I don't see you in that way but I really like you as a person and I would like to remain friends with you."

"I don't feel that way about you, sorry"

"Look, we're good friends and I don't want to ruin our friendship"

Had he said, any variation of these phrases, I would have been more then happy to keep the friendship.

I would have accepted the fact that he wasn't into me and the issue would be buried.

Instead, his response inspired a feeling of hurt as well as the discontinuation of our friendship.

I never answered his text and a few weeks later I received a message from him stating this..

"I understand you're doing what you have to do, but I'll be here when you're ready."

Wow, really. 

What exactly is it that you are understanding?

Is it that my intense and overwhelming feelings for you is something that I must overcome in order to retain our friendship. 

Is that a joke?

Do you really think that I sitting at home in ruin because you dejected me?

Wrong, my world existed before you and will remain to do so after you.

If anything, this last message was just plain disrespectful, Did you even know me at all?

You made it clear you had no respect for my feelings so to give you a timeline on when I'll be "ready".

The answer is never, I don't hate myself enough for that. 

lol 

"Doing what you have to do." 

You're lucky I pulled myself out of the pile of soiled sheets and tear crusted tissues 

long enough to write this post. 

Get over yourself, that is, if you can stop looking in the mirror for a few minutes.

Now that has been said I can truly move past it. 

So I have been obsessed with a few songs and I thought I would share them here

My April/ May playlist...

1. The story ----Brandi Carlile

2. Give your heart a break---- Demi Lovato

3. Naive----The Kooks

4. So Good---- Say Anything

5. Heartbeat---- Childish Gambino

6.Everybody talk----Neon Trees

*Side Note* Check them out when you get a chance awesome songs.

Broken in our own ways....

I've been at odds with myself recently about some of the people that I consider my friends...
I realized that I always seemed to be pushing the friendship along,
I would call them and I would go visit them, etc.
But they never sought me out.
So I stopped.

And I haven't heard from them...
So what does that say?
Does that mean that they don't care?
Have we perhaps grown apart?
Because that's how it feels.

It hurts when I see status updates or tweets about places that are
literally down the block from me and I never get a call saying
"hey, I'm close to your house are you home? Let's hang."

I get that you have your own lives, and I don't expect a call everyday or even every week
but I don't know when something good happens to me or something gets me upset,
I want to call the people close to me and tell them all about it because I know they care.
For a while there it felt like I had no one to turn to..

Part of me can't even blame them, I'm not the best at calling people either, but that doesn't mean that I'm not watching and listening.

Its a sad day when I have to go to your blog and find out whats going on with your life.
or
when I ask you to lunch and you bring other people that I don't know and have no common ground with.

When did we stop telling each other, everything?
I was debating on writing this post,
but you know what,
this is my place to write down everything I'm feeling.
I'm not going to censor myself because you may or may not read this.
Fuck that.

This is not meant as a personal attack either... this is me saying
"I'm hurt and no one noticed"

I have always been there when anyone needed me,
you only had to utter the words.

Friend: A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

That definition of Friend pales in comparison to mine.

Friend: A person that loves you for no other reason then just being you, You can call them at 2am and they will listen to whatever you have to say. They don't judge you from doing dumb things or for being strange instead they blind you with unfiltered acceptance. You can trust them with all your secrets and they care about you when you don't even care about yourself.

*Side Note* I still love you... Despite this.

Everythings on fire...

So I started reading The Hunger Game Series, and now it is my current obsession,
I started the next book last night, eeep.
And sometime in March, China glaze
(My favorite nail polish)
is going to be releasing a Hunger games line,
I already have my eye's set on 3 of the colors.
^_^
Anyway...
A few days ago I was watching MTV and A video came on and I instantly fell in love with it.
It's a Taylor Swift and The Civil wars song,
but it sounds more like it would be an Eisley song.
So as it turns out it was actually a song for the Hunger Games Soundtrack.
I think the song has a romantic feel to it and its hauntingly beautiful and sweet.
So without any further ado....

A moment of blinding insight

I was thinking today about the first time I realized that I was a pretty good writer
I was in High School and we had to write an short story,
I can't remember what class it was for but the story was about a Native American boy hunting.
I had worked so hard on it and I was really proud of it.
I had made numerous drafts and even typed it up.

A few days later we all got our papers back but I didn't get mine back
So I approached my teacher after class and asked him why I didn't get mine
He said "Oh, I wanted to talk to you about this."
Now here I was thinking oh he's going to tell me how good it is.
I never expected what he said next.

"Where did you get this from?"
"Huh, I wrote it..."
"Now you're not in trouble, I just want to know where you got it from"
(isn't that just what every adult tells you right before you get into trouble?)

I was flabbergasted, not only was I being accused of some form of cheating but I was also getting into trouble for doing too good of a job on an assignment.
"I wrote it, I have the drafts at home"
"Well tomorrow bring them in so I can take a look at them"
I think at this point I mumbled something along the lines of "Okay" or "Yeah"

I held my paper in my hand and I felt dejected and let down.
I was so shocked, angry and frustrated that I nearly started crying.
Thank god I had made drafts, It wasn't a habit of mine to draft my projects, I usually just typed them up and edited them along the way.
The next day I showed the drafts to the teacher
and he looked at them and gave me my grade in kind of a dismissive way.

What was the point of accusing me and then barely glancing over my drafts.
I wasn't until much later that I realized this was sort of back handed complement.

My work was good enough for the teacher to think I forged it.
So that's where it all began,
I think I always had a passion for writing but the actions of that teacher confirmed it.
So i'm not sure if that teacher did a bad thing or a good thing.
I might never figure that out...

Woken from the dream by my own name...

"We were both broken in our own ways
Sifting through the rubble for the wrong things"

So another Valentines Day has passed and here I am, single, but surprisingly happy.
I have gotten to a point where I know what I want and I wont settle for less,
If that means I have to stay single, I'm okay with that.
I have been listening to Death Cab for Cutie's "Underneath the Sycamore" on repeat for the last two days. It is amazing...
The lyrics above as well as the post title are from this very song.
This song just has a subtle message about overcoming things and
recognizing the fact that you may not be heading in the right direction
but you keep on going until you can find the right path
Maybe alone or with the help of someone else.
Truly moving...
Here is some Ear Candy:

*Side Note* Happy Valentines Day!!

Caps!

some facts about Capricorns that I find to be true about myself...

When in love, a #Capricorn will love whole-heartedly even though we may not necessarily show your feelings..

Viewing insecurity and fear as weaknesses, #Capricorns attempt to hide such feelings makes it hard for others to get close to them.

#Capricorn is always ready to sacrifice for and give to others. They get irritated when you push away their kind heart.

If a #Capricorn ever suffers from insecurity, you will be the very last to be informed on it.

It is very hard for a #Capricorn to relax & let our mind rest.

#Capricorns tend to be pessimistic and moody.

If a #Capricorn doesn't get their way, they will do their best to make everyone around them miserable through subtle griping and sniping.

#Capricorns do not like to be dominated, and will not want to make the first move.

#Capricorn = cold & mysterious on the outside but on the inside a Capricorn is warm & mushy & beyond caring..

While I dance here among the land mines

(Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn Bringing up baby 1938)

I'm feeling impulsive...
So so tempted to do things that I normal would refrain from.
I put up this amazing front and it fools so many people,
but some people manage to make it past because I allow them too.
Sometimes it's so exhausting to keep a smile onto my face and pretend everything is okay so I let it slip and present my thoughts written across my face.
But I can't be impulsive, I am refusing to let myself, why you ask...
Every time I have ever been impulsive I usually get rejected or things end up horrible.
I have to be so very careful because when I trip and fall the only person who is going to be there to pick up the pieces is me.
So yeah I can take care of myself...

My own secret ceremonials...

I have been thinking about the future lately...
Like things I want to do with and teach my future children.
So I wanted to compile a list... before I forgot.

1. Instill the importance of reading.
I want to read to my children every night
(I know this is going to sound weird but I've already bought two books for them)

2. Take them to museums and art galleries.
I want them to challenge the world around them
and taking them to these places will help them form and gather their own perspective
on the world.

3. Midnight dessert picnics.
I thought of this idea today,
On nice spring/summer or fall nights I want to wake them up at midnight
(on the weekend of course)
In their pj's we'll go outside with flashlights and have a picnic of cakes and ice cream.

4. Have them tell me all about their day.
I don't want to be one of those parents that never takes the time to listen to their child's day.

5. Take them to central park and other amazing parts of NY.
I want them to know their city.

6. Build tents and forts with and in general play with them.
Imagination is something that needs to be nurtured.
I want my kids to have that with them always.

7. Do crafts with them.
Because it's fun... duh.

8. Encourage them to learn a musical instrument or play a sport.
I want them to learn young the importance and rewards of discipline.

9. Sharing.
Nowadays I see so many children that have a problem with sharing,
I think that's really sad.

10. Disappointment's
Not everything is going to go their way, and they are going to have to accept that.
I think this will be one of the harder lessons to teach them.
I don't want them to crumble when the slightest thing doesn't go their way.

I'm sure they're are other things that I am forgetting, but this list is a good start.
I just want to create and environment where they feel loved and cherished.

Ive been thinking about the girls names a little more recently,
my sons name is set (Aidan Gerard, spelling still pending)
But for a girls name I started falling in love with Eisley.
Originally I liked Daven Hartley or Hartley Daven,
but Eisley pushed them aside.

Is it weird that I've thought about this so in depth?
Eehh... I guess it's not that weird considering my tendency to over think things...

I don't know what the future holds for me but
I don't see the problem with giving myself a little outline.
I might not even be able to have kids.
(graves disease and all)
But if I do you can bet that they will be loved.

I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too... So I stayed in the darkness with you...

It's always late at night when the thoughts that run through my head cave in on me leaving me restless, tired and over thinking...
My brain can be a dangerous place sometimes.
I'm wearing two different socks... for some strange reason this makes me happy.
It doesn't take a lot to make me happy...
I enjoy the simple things in life.
I went to the Bronx zoo with my friend Nix on Monday and barely anyone was there.
It was so nice, we had the zoo to ourselves and it wasn't too cold out.
It's lazy days like this that make me grateful for growing up
in one of the most amazing cities in the world,
I love the fact that on a whim I have access to so many things.
Anyway enough of my rambles..
Here is a video that I love... Enjoy.




*Side Note* I know you feel the same...

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness....

People generally can only believe in things that are within their realm of possibilities,
for that reason they are not able to believe in things that are as natural to us as breathing,
for instance Magic.
I think our culture has misconstrued the ideal of what magic really is,
I'm not saying its conjuring flowers out of thin air or transforming people into animals.
It's science, the way people interact with each other, how experiences make you feel and turn you into the person you become this is magic.
A friend can transform a sour mood into a warm memory.
Is that not magic?
It amazes me.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately
This might not make sense to you but to me its a clear as can be.
Open up your realm of possibility so that anything is possible and any goal is attainable.

*Side note* I feel like I sound like an after school special, "Stay in school, kids!"

Questionaire: Part !

I found this Quiz online and it looked fun so here I go

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
A: Jerry Lewis

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
A: to form a castle in which tiny flowers bloomed, visited by princely bees.

4) What do you think about most?
A: My future

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?
A: I have some new orders for you...

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
A: with

7) What's your strangest talent?
A: I can juggle while standing on a rola bola

8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence)
A: Girls are easily hurt; Boys are quick to walk away.

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
A: Yes

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?
A: Today

11) Do you have any strange phobias?
A: of being haunted

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
A: No

13) What's your religion?
A: spiritual

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
A: looking at the stars and or sky.

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
A: Behind

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
A: Say Anything

17) What was the last lie you told?
A:I don't remember.

18) Do you believe in karma?
A:Yes

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
A: My family.

21) Who is your celebrity crush?
A:Max Bemis

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
A: Nope

23) How do you vent your anger?
A: Though art

24) Do you have a collection of anything?
A: Vintage Cameras

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
A: Phone

26) Are you happy with the person you've become?
A: yes

27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?
A: Slurping, Max bemis' voice

28) What's your biggest "what if"?
A: What if I just joined the circus

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
A: yes and yes

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
A: window, my sister

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?
A: nothing

32) What's the worst place you have ever been to?
A: Roanoke Radpids

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?
A: East

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
A: Max Bemis

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?
A: To be happy

36) Define Art.
A: Self expression

37) Do you believe in luck?
A: Yes

38) What's the weather like right now?
A: Cold

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
A: yes and no

41) What was the last book you read?
A: Kiss of the Highlander

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?
A: yes

43) Do you have any nicknames?
A: Dee

44) What was the last movie you saw?
A: The Geisha Boy

45) What's the worst injury you've ever had?
A: Broken ankle in 2 places

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?
A: nope

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?
A: Circus

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?
A: no

50) Do you believe in magic?
A: Hell yes

collapse right on the back of tumbling waves...

I feel like I have cotton in my head instead of a brain.
I am aware that I tend to over think things but lately I feel like I am just completely thick. I am struggling to come to terms with my life and decide which way I want to turn.
I hate the way I've let someone get under my skin and open up parts of myself that I had kept closed in order to keep myself safe.
I am walking in a emotional hallway made of broken glass one wrong turn and its over for me. I have been here before and just managed to make it out.
It took me 3 years to fully recover from my previous injuries,
Do I really want to open myself up to get hurt again?
I scared it might already be too late.

I've been having really vivid dreams lately...
I have been want to write them down before I forget them.

Dream 1
I am in a boarding school, my mother works as a teacher there.
I am heading to one of my classes and I meet a brother and sister.
We become friends and we discover that we are heading to the same class so we decide that we will walk together. so were walking, and I usually took the long way to the class but they said they knew a shortcut and it cost a dollar.
We took the shortcut and it took us to an elevator, we got in and the doors began to close
a hand stopped the door from closing and it opened again revealing 3 people two guys and a girl.
They piled into the elevator and my new friends said it was too crowded and exited the elevator leaving me and the 3 people.
One of the guys caught my attention and I kept peeking up to look at him only to find him looking back at me. The doors closed and the elevator began to move, I couldn't tell in which direction.
The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened to a beach. I looked out the doors and said "Shit" as I dropped my things and ran down the beach shedding shoes and socks as I went.
A yacht was on fire and sinking in the ocean, when I looked back the 3 people were doing the same rushing to help the people on the sinking ship. I jumped in and started dragging people to shore and then I looked on the boat and there was Paris Hilton. I swam out again to rescue her and dragged her to shore. I collapsed on the beach my chest heaving and I looked at the guy again and he was all wet and breathing the same way, watching me.

Dream 2
I was a mermaid...
I was swimming in the ocean free and carelessly, I swam to a cove where other mermaids were hanging out, I sat on a rock that was just barely covered with water and watched the other mermaid and mermen chat and swim as I flicked my tail back and forth.
Out of the ocean a merman that I knew swam up to me and reached his hand out to me.
It was an invitation.
I grasped his hand and he pulled me into a hug.
Still in the hug we dove underwater and he swam taking me with him, he held onto me tight and I felt like I was safe and home.

Is it weird that my dreams lately are having a running ocean theme? Last night I had another dream but I don't remember it as well, but I do know that I was on a pirate ship in the ocean and there was a Chinese man on the boat with me...
That's all I remember...
I know random...

*Side note* I really hope that I can make it out of the glass hallway unscathed...

Dear people of the Customer service industry,

I understand that everyday people are rude to you but that doesn't mean that you have to take the same approach in your work.
I did nothing to warrant your bad attitude and I am simply trying to get in and out of your store as quickly as possible.
When I approach you, you could Oh, I don't know try a smile or a friendly gesture instead of the look of annoyance that you so graciously put on your face.
This is after all your job, you signed up for this, no one is forcing you to work with people.
You could work in a morgue, become a lion tamer and even a pilot but you chose this.
So when I ask you if you know where something is, don't let out a huge sigh,
throw down whatever you were doing and walk away from me with out a single
"I'll be right back"
"Let me check, I just started here"
or
"I'm not quite sure"
because guess what... This is your job.

Sincerely,
Me

Boundaries...

This weekend my phone was invaded.... with phone calls from my boss. He was calling me incessantly. I have a policy...
I don't answer work calls on the weekends. That's my personal time. My boss has developed an very unhealthy attachment to me
and it would be a disservice,
not only me but to him as well, if I answered all the time.
He has called me to ask me how to back up his vacation pictures onto his computer and I'm just like that's not my job. So I come to work today to discover the reason behind his incessant calling. His daughter had a school project and he wanted me to type it up...
Wait... What? Really... Are you serious?

I'm just over this job, Ugh, I feel like I'm painting my boss in a bad light.
He's a really nice guy which is why I don't mind going out of my way for him
but at some point I have to draw a line and I am totally at that point...
I've been looking for a new job but at this point in time nothing has come up.
Hopefully something will pop up and I can escape what is becoming my hell...
I know when I start to feel this way,
it's time to find something else and fast.

In other news...
Nanowrimo is coming along, not as well as I had hopes for but I will keep at it.