Broken in our own ways....

I've been at odds with myself recently about some of the people that I consider my friends...
I realized that I always seemed to be pushing the friendship along,
I would call them and I would go visit them, etc.
But they never sought me out.
So I stopped.

And I haven't heard from them...
So what does that say?
Does that mean that they don't care?
Have we perhaps grown apart?
Because that's how it feels.

It hurts when I see status updates or tweets about places that are
literally down the block from me and I never get a call saying
"hey, I'm close to your house are you home? Let's hang."

I get that you have your own lives, and I don't expect a call everyday or even every week
but I don't know when something good happens to me or something gets me upset,
I want to call the people close to me and tell them all about it because I know they care.
For a while there it felt like I had no one to turn to..

Part of me can't even blame them, I'm not the best at calling people either, but that doesn't mean that I'm not watching and listening.

Its a sad day when I have to go to your blog and find out whats going on with your life.
or
when I ask you to lunch and you bring other people that I don't know and have no common ground with.

When did we stop telling each other, everything?
I was debating on writing this post,
but you know what,
this is my place to write down everything I'm feeling.
I'm not going to censor myself because you may or may not read this.
Fuck that.

This is not meant as a personal attack either... this is me saying
"I'm hurt and no one noticed"

I have always been there when anyone needed me,
you only had to utter the words.

Friend: A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

That definition of Friend pales in comparison to mine.

Friend: A person that loves you for no other reason then just being you, You can call them at 2am and they will listen to whatever you have to say. They don't judge you from doing dumb things or for being strange instead they blind you with unfiltered acceptance. You can trust them with all your secrets and they care about you when you don't even care about yourself.

*Side Note* I still love you... Despite this.

Deep in the thick of it...

This past Sunday,

I took a little trip to the Brooklyn Flea Market with My sister and my friend Mira. On the way there we passed this little indoor artist market.
It was pretty rad, I saw this guy who had on a outfit that I would want to grace my own closet, sometimes I wish I was bolder with my fashion choices.After walking around the artist market and exploring the goods at the flea, we took a walk in the small park right next to the flea and hung out by the water where I proceeded to harass my Mira and Angelia with my camera.Then we headed over to Van Leeuwen's for some Ice cream I tried the Earl Gray, and it was Amazing!
All in all a really great day, it was the kind of simple day that you look back on and remember it fondly, even thought we did nothing Extraordinary it was a great day.
I hope that your weekends are as Awesome as mine!!

Shake it up...

I am sooo lucky.

This holiday season I have felt incredibly Lucky.

Lucky:

to have my family.

to have Amazing friends that are more like family to me.

to be alive.

to have people in my life that care about me.

I just want to say Thank You to all of you!

Banana

Nix

Marmar

Vic

Jesse

Lea

My family.

Everyone who enriches my life purely by being in it.

Thank You.

I am surrounded by warmth and love.

I am sooo grateful and humbled.

This year has been a very conflicting year for me.

I have had my ups and downs but the important things remain constant.

This has past Christmas been the most magical for me.

It remind me of when a feeling I would get as a kid.

I would preform in talent shows and on those nights, I would sing or dance.

At the end of my performance, a member of my family would come up to the stage bringing with them a bouquet of flowers for me.

I would go to sleep those nights with such a high.

I would wake up the next morning and feel like it was all a beautiful dream,

and then I would see the flowers.

Here is a music video/commercial I fell in love with that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

As the new year approaches

I am faced with things I would like to sweep under the rug and forget about.

Friday I'm turning 24 years old, It's really weird to think that I will be 24.

It's sounds so grown up.

My birthday is generally kind of depressing for me.

I don't know why that is, but it's always been that way.

I don't really do a whole lot on my birthday even though it is a holiday.

I usually have dinner with my fam and then hang out around the house.

Hahaha, I sound so lame.

but really, I enjoy hanging out with my family.

Although this year it's going to be slightly different because I am going to dinner with the family on Saturday instead of Friday so I have no plans on my birthday...

which kinda sucks..

but I'll make the best of it.

Maybe I'll gather some friends and drag them out to the bar.

^_^

We shall see.

Mama Mia.. Here we go again!

So I took a little trip to Pawling NY the other day for work.

It was an hour and a half drive there and I have to say that it was so beautiful over there.

The leaves were changing and it just happened to be a wonderful day!

I took some pics with my cell phone (I will share soon).

I wanted to head to the city last Monday to take a juggling class but I didn't get a chance because of work.

sadness.

Oh well but as of late I have started to make weekly trips to the Ice Skating Rink.

I really enjoy it, I would like to go with friend but some of them have phobias and are away...

These friends shall not be named....they know who they are.

Lol I love you guys anyway!

I find that I am becoming more and more confidant on the Ice, Mind you, I am in no way going to start flipping and swirling on the ice but I feel like I have come a really long way.

~Flashback~

For my 14Th Birthday I had an Ice Skating Party

(What else is there to do when your birthday is in the middle of winter)

It was time to go home and we were getting ready to go home,

When I got off the ice I slipped and fell and my skate turned my ankle in a very unnatural position following that there was a loud crack.

My Father insisting that I was fine said to walk on it.

Ha ha no way, Turns out that it was broken.

After that I swore off skating for a really long time.

That was until I went to Paris, it was winter and near Notre Dame they set up a outdoor rink.

After much convincing with things like "How many people can say they have been Skating in Paris" and "This is a once in a lifetime chance" I agreed and it was great.

~End Flashback~

Ah Memories, lol their not always pleasant but those are the things that make you, you...

OK I think I'm done with the whole memory lane thing or should I say memory lame... Badumpum.. ha ha bad joke..

I really hope you have stopped reading by now... Well anyway Later!

*Side note* I wish we had more Roller rinks in NY...Bummer

*Side notes Side note* My favorite Abba song has to be Super Trooper.

Ok Ok.... I have been slacking...

I have been kinda busy as of late

because as you know when I have a spare moment

I have to fill it with something, that's just the way I work!

I am resuming my Violin lessons again this time with a new teacher

(one that is closer to where I live)

His name is Paul, He's super nice and he knows his stuff.

That reminds me I have to practice tonight...

I am super excited about my Circus class tomorrow night,

I decided to take a juggling and manipulation course,

I already know how to juggle but I would like to get better and learn a few more tricks.

My friend Nix is leaving for Ireland in a few weeks, she is going to be studying abroad.

I must admit I am slightly jealous, but at the same time

Im leaving in a few weeks myself for Europe, my aunt and I are taking a 3 week trip.

I can't wait, almost a month of no work.... Is there anything better??

I need a break, i have been running on overdrive since feb.

Well I think i have rambled enough for today....

BTW: I think i have a nerve condition, my eye keeps twitching...

I don't think thats normal.

The Beat goes on..... and on....

I am super excited, This weekend is Warped Tour!!!
I have been waiting months for this!
I was in my car the other day listening to Z100 and I heard them say they were giving away tickets to warped tour.

I was like "WHAT!?!" So now I am thoroughly pissed off, Now I have to be around all of these little poser punks that a year ago they were listening to Usher and R-Kelly, now rock is the new cool thing to listen to.

Listen be true to yourself and don't try to be something your not just cause its cool.

That's one thing I could never stand, for years when I was younger I was teased because I was different, but when the different became cool every one pretended they liked it before everyone else. If you enjoy something its that simple, you enjoy it.

Ill never forget what one of my cousins said to me once:

My family and I were in the car on our way home from shopping, we were passing a art supplies store that I have previously passes, I had to be around 12 at the time. I turn to my mother and say "Hey mom one day I want to go there" My cousin turns and says "That store is for a real artist, your not a real artist".

I have always been one to try new things (that should be evident) but don't knock me for it. If you want to do something but are afraid of what other people might think.

Screw em, Do it.

What do you have to lose? Real friends support you, they don't look down on you.
That when you know you have great friends. If I were turn to my friends and say I want to go parasailing, they would most likely say "So when are we going". I have Amazing friends. In that way I am so so lucky.

*Side Note: I am now an amazing Artist! ^_^

For the future...

Since everyone around me is having babies, i decided what i want to name my son....He will be named Aidan Gerard Franco ( i realize that my child would probably have the last name of my husband, but i want them to have my last name.)

Also this way my son has the same initials as my father AGF, my initials are DGF, and my sisters are ADF, and my moms are NIBF (she hyphenates)....oh initials..... for a girl i have always loved Isabella or Bella.

Hm.....

I was thinking and my kids are going to be strange, only because i know the way i am and i have never once in my life been considered normal, i am spontaneous, crafty, i know random info, love comics, anime, cartoons, ninjas, taking pictures, drawing pictures, painting, super relaxed...although sometimes i get anxiety attacks... its like all my worries strike at once.

But...anyway...yeah thats all i have to say for now.....later!