Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Halcyon days

This is my first time writing here in a little over 8 months. Its strange you can do something so constant for so long and then one day you stop. 
You just stop. 
I found my one great love, I started a new job and tried a lot of new things.
I have barely had time to remember my name.
Today I made a decision to quit my job, I had grown to hate it and hate the person it made me.
Bitter, Angry, Depressed and massively unhappy with myself.
I was lashing out at the people I love so much and they could see a change in me.
I was miserable.
I have never quit a job before, that's not the type of person I am but here I am.
A testament to how unhappy it made me.

I don't think its fully hit me that I have escaped. 
Tomorrow is my last day there and I think when I leave, a sense of joy will wash over me.
Today I was listening to a song by The Paper Kites called "Halcyon"
I knew the song was based on a Greek myth so I googled it and this is what I found...

The ancient Greek myth of Halcyon is a tender story of love and commitment, which explains the Halcyon sunny days of calm seas and winds. The Halcyon days or Alkionides Meres, as Greeks call them, appear in mid January every year.

Halcyon: calm; peaceful; tranquil.
Also
The phrase Halcyon days today also signifies prosperity, joy, liberation and, of course, tranquility.

 This year Halcyon days started on the 20th of January and it continues for a seven days.

I think there is a beautiful irony that I should decide to liberate myself from this job at this time.

I think the universe pushed me to take the step I was hesitant to take.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Let's forget who, forget what, forget where

Struggling...
I'm having a hard time lately.
I'm in a really weird place in my life right now, I look around and I see people my age or younger and they have their shit together and here I am just floating around aimlessly.
Why is it so hard to figure out what I want. 
I want to do so many things...
I have finally found my other half, Isn't everything else supposed to fall into place?
Maybe I'm too much of an Idealist.

Right now I'm kind of in love with this song by: of Montreal

 Wraith Pinned to the Mist 
 (Some of the Lyrics)
Maybe I'll never die, I'll just keep growing younger with you, and you'll grow younger, too.
Now it seems too lovely to be true, but I know the best things always do.
Let's pretend we don't exist, let's pretend we're in Antarctica.

I like the whimsy of the song. 
I think that is what my life is missing...
Whimsy, I am so overwhelmed with reality sometimes.

I think its going to be that way until I figure out my life. 
 Lets hope it doesn't take me  too much longer.

*Side note* Ombre post and I'm thinking of doing something new with my hair



Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Life as I know it...

So the weather is finally turning around, it feels like spring is finally here, I love it. 
I want to be outside like all day long.
Unrealistic but whatever.
I have been uber lazy about getting ready for the color run and I need to get myself into gear.
I need a really big kick in the butt..
 anyhoo...
Pete and I are closing in on the one year mark, July 13th. 
It seriously feels like time is flying by.
Also
 I'm really excited because I have a bunch of concerts comming up and I cant wait!!
Say anything
Fall Out Boy
And 
Jacks Mannequin  
woop woop!
Sooo Amped
More updates soon!!
^_^

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Color Run!!

So recently, I have signed up for a...
(insert drumroll)
...Color run!!
I'm so excited, I've wanted to do one for a while and the opportunity presented itself, 
so I was all like "let's do this thing!" 
I got a new pair of running shoes and now it's all about getting myself prepped and ready for this 5K!
(which I discovered is 3.1 miles)
I even found this little training regiment 
to get myself in gear.
 I'm not really a runner but I'm looking forward to rising to the challenge. 
Who knows maybe running is my thing? 
I have until September to get ready, plenty of time right? 
(Hope so *fingers crossed*)
by the end of the race I hope to look something like this...
Fun Right?!

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

My mind is open wide, Now I'm Ready to Start....

So many things are going on in my life right now
and at the same time not a lot is going on.

Recently I bought Krav Maga classes, 
I still haven't registered for them yet, 
I'll probably do that sometime this week, i'm really excited for them.
Also I saw a Livingsocial deal this week for Stunt training classes,
I'm considering signing up for these as well.
I feel like being adventurous lately.
I want to take advantage of every moment life has to offer me.

I'm just stressed right now.
and I think im coming down with a cold,
I'm like all achy and my eyes hurt and I've been running  fever.. 
but the weird thing is I haven't felt the typical sick.

Starting to realize this post isnt really about anything in particular, I just felt like I had to write.

 *Side note* I want to see The Host.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Can I make it better.. With the lights turned off

I give so much of myself with everything I do and lately I feel like I get get little to no return and that doesn't mean that I expect something in return but It does makes me feel sad and unappreciated.

maybe I'm just taking things too personally or maybe I should pull back and not give so much.
What do I do?

I'm scared of being taken advantage of and I'm scared of playing things to close to my chest.
I'm walking a very fine line.
I hate this feeling, like something's sitting on my chest and it hurts to breathe.

I think this will be a struggle that will plague me the rest of my life, finding the right amount I invest myself into something.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Crafty like a fox...

I've been crafting like crazy lately...
I love it!
Making things with my hands is so therapeutic for me.
List of things I've made over the past few months...

1. Coasters
2. Crochet crowns
3. Scarfs
4. Drawings
5. Gloves

...and there is more in the works.
I'm making decisions on things I want to put in my Etsy shop, I know for sure that I want to include the Crochet Crowns and I'm going to start making prints of my drawings. 
Also I'm feeling writey
So I feel some stories coming along as well as perhaps the conclusions of books I may have started. 
Who knows?

Monday, February 4, 2013

I'm not their hero but that doesn't mean that I wasn't brave

Im in love love love with Tegan and Sara's new album, 
its fun, 
amazing lyrically 
and makes me want to dance.
Who could ask for more?
My favorite song for the album right now is... 
(Drum roll)
"I'm not your Hero"
The song just speaks to me. 
I feel like it relates all the things I went though last year.
I feel like I started the year like the begining of the song 

"Standing where I am now, standing up at all
I was used to feeling like I was never gonna see myself at the finish line
Hanging on to parts of me, hanging on at all
I was used to seeing no future in my sight line"

I've come so far from where I was last January, 
I was feeling sad and I was questioning a lot of the things and people around me.
 I was really struggling and somewhere in the following months I decided that I needed to change my way of thinking and start looking towards the positive side of life.
This is where the second part of the song comes into play
 
 "Feeling like I am now lighting up the hall
I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart
Learning all I know now, losing all I did
I never used to feel like I'd be standing so far ahead"

I am so ridiculously happy.
I found someone that completely understands me and loves me no matter what.
I have been given the greatest gift.

*Side Note* I want pizza...