Sunday, December 4, 2011

collapse right on the back of tumbling waves...

I feel like I have cotton in my head instead of a brain.
I am aware that I tend to over think things but lately I feel like I am just completely thick. I am struggling to come to terms with my life and decide which way I want to turn.
I hate the way I've let someone get under my skin and open up parts of myself that I had kept closed in order to keep myself safe.
I am walking in a emotional hallway made of broken glass one wrong turn and its over for me. I have been here before and just managed to make it out.
It took me 3 years to fully recover from my previous injuries,
Do I really want to open myself up to get hurt again?
I scared it might already be too late.

I've been having really vivid dreams lately...
I have been want to write them down before I forget them.

Dream 1
I am in a boarding school, my mother works as a teacher there.
I am heading to one of my classes and I meet a brother and sister.
We become friends and we discover that we are heading to the same class so we decide that we will walk together. so were walking, and I usually took the long way to the class but they said they knew a shortcut and it cost a dollar.
We took the shortcut and it took us to an elevator, we got in and the doors began to close
a hand stopped the door from closing and it opened again revealing 3 people two guys and a girl.
They piled into the elevator and my new friends said it was too crowded and exited the elevator leaving me and the 3 people.
One of the guys caught my attention and I kept peeking up to look at him only to find him looking back at me. The doors closed and the elevator began to move, I couldn't tell in which direction.
The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened to a beach. I looked out the doors and said "Shit" as I dropped my things and ran down the beach shedding shoes and socks as I went.
A yacht was on fire and sinking in the ocean, when I looked back the 3 people were doing the same rushing to help the people on the sinking ship. I jumped in and started dragging people to shore and then I looked on the boat and there was Paris Hilton. I swam out again to rescue her and dragged her to shore. I collapsed on the beach my chest heaving and I looked at the guy again and he was all wet and breathing the same way, watching me.

Dream 2
I was a mermaid...
I was swimming in the ocean free and carelessly, I swam to a cove where other mermaids were hanging out, I sat on a rock that was just barely covered with water and watched the other mermaid and mermen chat and swim as I flicked my tail back and forth.
Out of the ocean a merman that I knew swam up to me and reached his hand out to me.
It was an invitation.
I grasped his hand and he pulled me into a hug.
Still in the hug we dove underwater and he swam taking me with him, he held onto me tight and I felt like I was safe and home.

Is it weird that my dreams lately are having a running ocean theme? Last night I had another dream but I don't remember it as well, but I do know that I was on a pirate ship in the ocean and there was a Chinese man on the boat with me...
That's all I remember...
I know random...

*Side note* I really hope that I can make it out of the glass hallway unscathed...

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