We are just breakable, breakable, breakable girls...

I'm really upset right now, I'm just thinking about my knee and googling everything I can possibly find on ACL injury's. I know I am being obsessive, but I just want to get better.

I'm worried that my knee will never be the same.

All the things I read online are putting into my head that my ACL is torn and If its torn bad enough I could need surgery. I am so over this shit.

I don't want to have surgery nor can I afford it. I am in this horrible place mentally. All I do is think about my knee.

I went to the emergency room in South Dakota, and this is probably the New Yorker in me, but I feel like the doctor kind of dismissed me to quickly.

So I feel like he didn't carefully look over the xrays.

He said it was just a bad sprain.

He wanted me to walk on it right away and I was in such pain that I really wasn't capable.

He gave me a ace bandage and a boot out of the hospital.

Granted my knee does feel a lot better then when I was in SD,

but what if it's healing wrong or It really is torn.

I still can't fully extend my leg and that worries the shit out of me.

But I have no Insurance , so how am I supposed to know how it's progressing.

If you know me then you know my mind runs a thousand miles a minute.

So imagine how I'm feeling right now..

So I am in Crazy lady panic mode... but you wouldn't know it by looking at me.

*Side note* What if I never walk normally again.....

The people in my life have to keep me grounded...

Or else I would float away....
It's true...

I can be so ridiculous sometimes...
and I'm starting to realize that and that scares me...

I have been away for the past few weeks and just a few days into my trip,
I fell and sprained my knee very badly.
It was a total bummer and it made my trip kinda suck a little bit.
I'm still not fully recovered..
and I have just learned that I incapable of sitting still...
It's a problem when I'm trying to heal...
it's taking sooo long...
at this point I'm trying to heal my self using sheer willpower...It's not working....

So yeah... thats whats really been going on.

so heres a list of things I wish I could do right this moment...
1. Swim
2. Jump on a trampoline
3. Run
4. Go to the city
5. Hang out in Brooklyn w/ my Great Grandma

Here's a list of things I have to do
1. Clean my room
2. Find a job
3. Make word bubble chalk boards
4. Get my oil changed
5. Color my hair back to normal

*Side Note* I love Painting my Nails!!

I'm in love and given away....

Right now I am away from home and I have been for a few days.
I am currently in South Dakota and on my way to Custer state park.
So far the trip has been amazing!
We started in Deadwood and we took a road trip to Devils tower, where close encounters of the third kind was filmed, and we did a mile hike around the whole tower.
We also went into an old gold mine.
It was a fantastic experience!
I am kinda shocked that I am having such a good time.
To be honest I thought it would be kind of boring, but happily I have been proved wrong!
The first day I was a bit nausaus, because we are so high up compared to NY.
I was told this is becasue I was am to being at sea level.
I am going to be traveling for another week or so,
and I have a ton more places that I am going to be visiting.
Check my Flickr for picture updates!
www. Flickr.com/Fairyflames4
I have already posted some pics of my trip thus far!
Well I will talk to you guys soon!
*Side note* I miss NY a little...

She can still here that Rebel Yell just as loud as it was in 1983.

Been Really busy Creating things for the craft show on City Island. I am really excited, but the adverse effect of that is that I have been neglecting my blog and I feel bad about that, so here is a real life story...

So I was at the gas station the other morning,

I was busy pumping my gas when I looked up and noticed this guy staring at me, I quickly looked away and finished pumping my gas.

I walked to the drivers side of the car and I hear someone shout "Hey" behind me.

I ignore it and hear it again.

I looked and it was that same guy that was staring at me, and he says

"It's been a long time, how are you?"

"Umm.. I don't know you"

" yeah, your Lisa, right"

"Umm, no"

" oh sorry"

"It's cool, Bye"

It had to be on of the most bizarre verbal exchanges I have ever had with another human being

that's not to say I have had many exchanges with non human beings...or have I....

so yeah that's my story... ttyl

*Side note* I am going to be going away, so you might not hear from me for a while but I promise to be more vigilant.

Somethings missing in me, I felt it deep within me as lovers left me to bleed...alone....

The title of this post is from my most recent fave song,

the song is called "Missing" by Flyleaf.

The song is AmAzing!

I found this on Flyleaf's page, this is what they had to say about this song:

"Missing" is another song that shows how important love and life are. The hook is massive, but there's more to it. Lacey continues, "The bridge says "Down here love wasn't meant to be for me, all is vanity underneath the sun." The phrase makes you ask 'What would the world be like if we took love out of it?' Love is painful. It requires work. It's selfless. Even though it's difficult, if you take that out of the earth you're going to end up with nothing. C.S. Lewis said, 'The only place in all of the world where you can escape the dangers of love is hell.'"

So inspiring, they are actually a Christian rock band and a lot of their songs are about God.

People that know me know that I am not a very religious person, that's not to say I don't have my beliefs, but for some reason Flyleaf's music just speaks to me, even the religious ones.

"All around me" was one of my fave songs for a while, every time I listened to it something felt like it was knocking down walls inside of me trying to get out,

I feel happy and jovial after I hear it. I know it sounds weird but whatever.

I can go on and on about them, but you should really check them out for yourself.

*Side Note* I seemed to have forgotten that there is such a thing called Youtube, so here is the Video for Missing

The Worst day of my life.... thus far...

The worst day...

I was around 14 years old, I lived in westchester and went to High School in Manhattan, so every morning I would get up @ 6am and grab the Bus to 23rd Street. The ride was about an hour long so normally I would go to sleep while on the bus.

So one night on my way home I fell asleep, When I woke up I realized I had missed my bus stop and was way far from my house. I remember it was raining that night, and I was still new to westchester.

I got off at the next stop and called my house to try and get someone to pick me up

No one answered, I called my parents cell phone's and no answer. Being a lowly H.S student I had like no money on me to even take a bus.

I threw my hood over my head and with my shoulder slouched I started to walk toward the direction that my house was in. After a while of walking, I was soaked, my shoes were squeaking and my clothes were heavier, I tried calling home again, to no avail.

I have never felt so alone in my entire life.

So in the dark, while it rained, I kept walking and then I started to cry.

My sadness turned anger, my tears that came from feeling alone and deserted like no one cared became these angry tears.

I was mad at myself for crying, I was mad at my parents who didn't seem to notice that their child was mising. I was mad at how cliche it was to be crying in the rain at night.

I was angry at the universe.

Eventually my phone died, after about 2 hours of walking I got home. I walked into my house dripping, and there was my mom, so casual saying hello to me.

As if it was normal for me to walk in the house at 8pm, when I got out of school at 2:30 and usually got home by 4pm. I was Furious, I yelled for about 20 mins on how I had to walk all the way home in the rain.

All my mother had to tell me "who told you to fall asleep on the bus"

I stormed off to my room, My mother eventually said sorry and I got over it after a few days.

What I did learn was that the only one who's gonna be there for me is me.

If I had something to say to I'd whisper it softly..

10 Fave movies (at the Moment)

Random order

1. love +Hate
2. Penelope
3. Stardust
4. Kick Ass
5. I Love you, Man
6. Ameile
7. Shoot em up
8. Mirrormask
9. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
10. Mallrats

I was thinking about this in the car today and I thought I would share. So to make my life just that much more interesting I think I'm going to take Archery lessons, I found this place in Queens that teaches it and a bonus is that after the lesson I can head to Brooklyn to see my Great grandmother. She's so Great!

So yeah, I know what you might be thinking

"Really Delilah, Another hobby! This is getting ridiculous, how many more things are you going to take up!"

But I say to you this "Talk to the hand" & "I jus like being all diversified n shit."

Just kidding, but if that's how you see it, whatev's I enjoy a wide array of things to do, that way I always have something to practice, also you never know when your going to need it.

So as you may or may not know the Ice skating season is pretty much over, but Roller skating season is on! Lol skating officially starts June 4Th at EJ Murry rink in Yonkers, that's is where I will be on June 4Th. Can't Wait!

I'm going to be painting my Skates this week I haven't decided what yet but when I finish I will post a pic. ^_^ Later

*Side Note* I HATE the new NY Licence plates.

My hands are only extensions

Having some Rainy day/Rainbow fun today,

didn't this shot come out so cool!

So Bamboozle was Great and I totally got burnt, but it was so worth it.

Say Anything was FanFreakingTastic!

I love them so much.. sigh...

I wan to see then again and again. It's ridiculous.

Ok so on some Crafty like news,

I am planing on entering a craft fair on City Island more to come about that soon I'm working toward that right now.

I have to admit I am kind nervous about that, I know I have said this before so to quote myself "It's like slapping your heart down on a table and saying do your worst".

It's just plain scary...

Well thats all thats been going on right now.

Lates everyone!