I want to share my love with you.....

A note on the circus:

I want to be apart of the making of magic,
I want to be around the weavers of fantasy, the spinners of dreams and the creators of the illusion. I want to breathe in the air that has tiny invisible sparkles of light that cause you to see everything with a childlike sense of wonder.

I want to feed off the happiness of the crowd and let it engulf me in a storm of silver glitter and golden light, stealing me away to a place that knows no sadness only joy and a lightness of the soul that never lets me touch the ground.

I crave the nomadic lifestyle, nothing static, my world in a constant state of flux.
New faces attached to a different town that looks like a place I once knew in another life.

I want the smell of cotton candy and fresh popcorn to fill my nostrils every morning upon my waking and I want the sound of children's laughter to drown out the doubts that haunt me at night. I want the vibrations of the crowd's cheers to crawl inside my skin and cause it to hum and glow with light.
But what I want more then anything is to become the illusion,
not just the maker or the designer,
when you look at me I want you to have to shield your eyes
because the light that I am emitting is too much for your eyes to handle.
I want to soar up high in a cloud of shear white silk and rhinestones, not unlike a comet making a trail in the night sky, your eyes glued to the magic unfolding before you.

This is the place that I visit in the small corner of my mind.
So if you see a girl with brown hair and brown eyes that are staring off into space and you wonder where her mind has taken her.
That girl is me and that girl is also circus performer dancing among the stars.

Deconstruction of a Girl in a cloud...

As of late I feel like I have been Living in a golden fog,

Everything is shiny and bright,

I can not see past my nose,

I move through it like nothing is there.

What is fog but a cloud that visits the earth?

I have had my head in a cloud for so long but my cloud is so heavy with all of my hopes, dreams and everything that I want to do in my life,

that the time has come for my clean converses to feel the dirt.

Realization is upon me and it rubs against me like heavy duty sand paper.

The fog is lifting and I am beginning to see things for what they really are.

Ugh this post is soooo Depressing!!

I have been listening to Paramore's new album like non-stop for the past week.

It's so amazing.

I got a rola bola for Christmas, I don't wanna brag but I pretty good at it. ^_^

Well anyway that's all for now.

Here's a small list of things I want to one day do:

1. Learn how to blow glass.

2. Finish my book.

3. Learn to juggle 4 balls.

4. Row a boat in Central Park by myself.

5. Learn the Violin properly.

6. Learn to Surf

7. Learn Ariel hoop and/or Chinese silks.

8. Go to the National Circus School in Montreal.

9. Learn French.

10. Get some sick 1960's or 1920's clothing

You're crazy, stop dancing...

Howdy folks!

I did it! I finally did it, I got a Flickr!! I know what your thinking... "big deal". But it is for me I am so horrible at getting my pictures to my blog, hopefully this will makes things better.

So this past weekend, I went to see Wintuk, which is a performance put on by Cirque Du Soleil. The show was amazing everything a Cirque performance should be. It just makes me want to work for them even more. Dreams....

I am almost done with my sweater, It took me longer then I expected it to. It looks great, I don't mean to brag or anything but what can I say... I'm awesome...lol JK.

So here are some Pic's I wanted to post:

These are the Juggling balls that I got, They look at lot cooler when they are moving.

This is the shelf that I installed all by myself, my Brownie hawk eye seems to like it.

Under it are some of my half full sketch books.

Above are some charcoal drawings I did when I was in High School, they are a pair if you could'nt tell.

*Side Note: I am working on a project that I will be anouncing soon. I am simply bursting I want to tell you so bad, but it must wait......you must wait...I'm Sry.....

Wicked Cool Awesomeness

Busy busy week for me, I went to lunch with banana, I bought a new shelf and installed it myself thank u very much.
I also came upon new juggling balls in the most unlikely of places..The Container Store... they are filled with glitter and water, they look really cool.

Also some things I am considering getting into:
Fire breathing/Fire eating
Contact juggling
Circus EMT....I don't know if that exist
Knitting (It seems hard)

I think my mother is seriously getting worried that I am going to run away and join the circus. We were talking the other day I was telling her how I was looking to see if I needed a permit to be a street performer she turned to me and said
"you should really be focusing on your career"
(getting an EMT position)
I replied "I am" after a pause I started to laugh hysterically.
She laughed and said it wasn't funny, but it was.

Side note*
I am seriously disappointed by the lack of juggling programs/clubs in Westchester. I was on Google a whole afternoon looking for one and alas nothing. I have to trek all the way to the city... which is a good 20 to 45 minutes away depending on traffic. Maybe I should start my own juggling club...hmmmmm....

Ok Ok.... I have been slacking...

I have been kinda busy as of late

because as you know when I have a spare moment

I have to fill it with something, that's just the way I work!

I am resuming my Violin lessons again this time with a new teacher

(one that is closer to where I live)

His name is Paul, He's super nice and he knows his stuff.

That reminds me I have to practice tonight...

I am super excited about my Circus class tomorrow night,

I decided to take a juggling and manipulation course,

I already know how to juggle but I would like to get better and learn a few more tricks.

My friend Nix is leaving for Ireland in a few weeks, she is going to be studying abroad.

I must admit I am slightly jealous, but at the same time

Im leaving in a few weeks myself for Europe, my aunt and I are taking a 3 week trip.

I can't wait, almost a month of no work.... Is there anything better??

I need a break, i have been running on overdrive since feb.

Well I think i have rambled enough for today....

BTW: I think i have a nerve condition, my eye keeps twitching...

I don't think thats normal.

De De Dedede de de de dee de (Circus theme song)

I Don't know if you know this but I have been a fan of circus arts for many years now. I taught myself how to juggle and also to use the Diabolo, Secretly I have always wanted to join the circus. I know right now you must be thinking.... " what is wrong with this girl, she is training to become an EMT, she creates art, she is learning the Violin, works full time, what else could she possibly do??" ......Well, I will tell you, I want to become a circus performer. Very recently, on a Google search, I discovered a link to http://www.nycircusarts.com/ .

Ahhhh... the Big Top....

It is almost like it was meant to be, so I quickly informed some friends and family about my current endeavors and I got the usual: "yeah sure" "that's cool" responses, but then I got one from my friend Anna-banana that went like so " Cool, maybe we can do it together" In my head I had an instant party. I was like Totally Awesome! But before I can start the C.A. classes I want to finish my EMT classes. So I am thinking toward the end of august I should be able to start. I'm soooo Pumped! I'm the mean time I am going to focus on getting into shape. Working out building up my arm strength, losing weight eating right, all that good stuff.

You know what they say: Anything worth having is worth fighting for. (I think that's how it goes...)

Mimes read the news too...

Look at me I'm so meant to be in the circus, this is one of my favest outfits!