I'm gonna live, I'm gonna fly

I can't believe it's already the end of January, it went by so fast. 

I think that is because its been so busy lately.

Lets do a mini recap...

At the end of December was my Birthday and I turned 26, on the 22nd my cousin turned 27 and on the 26th my Boyfriend turned 28, between all of that I have been working at 2 jobs and trying to maintain a poor excuse for a social life.

 I wanted to create a list of some goals I want to accomplish for 2013

So here I go!

1. Enroll in Art classes

2. Get a new and exciting job that I enjoy

3. Go swimming on a regular basis

4. Finish my Nanowrimo, before the next Nanowrimo starts.

5. Take Circus classes

6. Read more then 25 books

7. Travel to 2 places I've never been before

8. Get my Etsy up and running and productive.

9. Have an adventure

10. Take more chances

11. Go to more Concerts

12. Blog more

Lately I find myself wanting to really give my Esty store a chance, 

I feel like I haven't been putting as much effort as I should into it. 

Its hard for me...

I work so hard on something that I think people will really dig 

and then it sits in my shop forever and never sells.

I get really discouraged when that happens.

 But I think its time for some change.

In the next few weeks I plan on revamping some things.

I am working on a new shop logo, new store policies and thinking of fun and new items to stock in my shop.

I'm also going to invest in advertizing and create some coupon codes.

I want to see a profit for a change...

I'm looking forward to the new year.

Twenty six

In My Mind

  By Amanda Palmer

In my mind
In a future five years from now
I'm one hundred and twenty pounds
And I never get hung over
Because I will be the picture of discipline
Never minding what state I'm in
And I will be someone I admire
And it's funny how I imagined
That I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I've just forgotten how to see
That I am not exactly the person that I thought I'd be

And in my mind
In the faraway here and now
I've become in control somehow
And I never lose my wallet
Because I will be the picture of of discipline
Never fucking up anything
And I'll be a good defensive driver
And it's funny how I imagined
That I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I've just forgotten how to see
That I'll never be the person that I thought I'd be

And in my mind
When I'm old I am beautiful
Planting tulips and vegetables
Which I will mindfully watch over
Not like me now
I'm so busy with everything
That I don't look at anything
But I'm sure I'll look when I am older
And it's funny how I imagined
That I could be that person now
But that's not what I want
But that's what I wanted
And I'd be giving up somehow
How strange to see
That I don't wanna be the person that I want to be

And in my mind
I imagine so many things
Things that aren't really happening
And when they put me in the ground
I'll start pounding the lid
Saying I haven't finished yet
I still have a tattoo to get
That says I'm living in the moment
And it's funny how I imagined
That I could win this, win this fight
But maybe it isn't all that funny
That I've been fighting all my life
But maybe I have to think it's funny
If I wanna live before I die
And maybe it's funniest of all
To think I'll die before I actually see
That I am exactly the person that I want to be

Fuck yes
I am exactly the person that I want to be

Books make great gifts because they have whole worlds inside of them...

Books how I love them, they are warm and welcoming, adventurous, exciting, sad, scary and can sometimes lead you to the edge of your seat.
They are better then movies and keeps the monotony of everyday life at bay.
MY mother always stressed the importance of reading books.
I used to love our trips to the library, 
I still remember when I received my very own library card,
it was a very big deal.

To quote my favorite author:

“Don't ever apologize to an author for buying something in paperback, or taking it out from a library (that's what they're there for. Use your library). Don't apologize to this author for buying books second hand, or getting them from book crossing or borrowing a friend's copy. What's important to me is that people read the books and enjoy them, and that, at some point in there, the book was bought by someone. And that people who like things, tell other people. The most important thing is that people read... ”
― Neil Gaiman

Always an inspiration to me.
 I try and read as much as possible, there are times when I am almost inhaling books.
For me reading is not only an escape from reality, it is also a release.
I get to go on great adventures, 
fight wars and feel emotional events through the eyes of a heroine or hero.
I can go on and on about my love of books but I will stop here...

Anyhoo, here is a list of books that I read in 2012.
(Although this is not a list of everything I have read, as of late I have been reading books written by independent authors from a great website called "Wattpad" which is also available as an app.)

 I am hoping that next year I will read a lot more then this... well that's the goal anyway...

*SideNote* Go to your local library and take out a book!!

My Bucket List

A list of goals to be completed before my end.

I will update and re-post this as I accomplish or add goals.

1. Fly a plane

2. Finish a crocheted blanket

3. Watch baby sea turtles hatch and return to sea.

4. Learn a language fluently

5. Be on Cash Cab

6. Travel the world

London

Paris

Italy

Ireland

Hungry

Greece

Germany

Czech Republic

Dominican Republic

Austria

Slovakia 

 India

Japan

Australia

Lebanon

 Amsterdam

Russia

New Zealand 

Canada

Spain

Mexico

Romania

Denmark

To be Continued...

7. Meet Neil Gaiman

8. Finish my book
9. Get my book Published

10. Go kayaking

11. Go to a tropical beach and spend the day listening to my ipod

12. Be on the news

13.Learn Chinese Silks

14.Get a song shop song by Max Bemis

15. See Death Cab for Cutie Live

16. Learn to ride a Vespa

17. Ride a wave via surfing

18. Learn to Snowboard

19. Row a boat in central park

20. Go to Loch Ness and See Loch Ness monster

21. Learn to breathe fire

22. Adopt a dog

23. Watch a flash mob in person

24. Ride an Elephant

25. Learn the art of Blowing glass

26.Start my own Etsy store and sell my art work

27. Live in Puerto Rico for a year

28. See The Killers Live

29. Buy a Vespa

30. Visit every state in the USA

New York

Florida

New Jersey

Pennsylvania

Georgia

Connecticut

Nevada

Wyoming

South Dakota

Montana

Idaho

Utah 

Illinois

Virgina

North Carolina

To be Continued...

31. Visit Harry Potter world.

32. Ride a horse

33. Touch or swim with a whale

34. See the Northern lights

35. Join the Circus

36. Fly on a trapeze
37. Learn to juggle

To be Continued and Updated...

I'm caught up in this moment, caught up in your smile...

So many thing are changing this year...

I love it.

I felt for so long that I was at a standstill with myself. 

I was at a cross road making no decisions just sitting there wavering back and forth about my future.

For the first time I feel like I'm making progress.

Recently I was watching a video posted by John Green, the author of "Looking for Alaska" and "Paper Towns". I adore this man, he is seriously such an inspiration.

In the video he answers a question "How do I figure out what to do with my life", this is a question I have been struggling with my entire life, I never wanted to close doors for myself so I had a hard time making decisions. John Green attacks the question by disagreeing with it and he's right.

We approach life as the end all be all, we decide our career path and then we meet a person that we want to share life with, we procreate and die. This ideal is so bland. Don't get me wrong I want to do some of that but I also want to do so much more. I want to take advantage of life to the fullest and live, truly Live.

I require sustenance in the form of knowledge and life experiences.

Earlier this year I made a conscience decision to change the way I approached life and since making that decision, my life has changed for the better and I only see things getting better. 

*Side note*  Love life the way you love yourself.

Happiness hit her like a train on a track...

I've been pretty silent on here lately and I'm going to try and change that.
( have I said this before?)

So here is an update on the going ons..... I've been making progress with continuing my last nanowrimo, I feel like my writing is at an evolutionary point, my dialogue is getting a lot better and the descriptions of locations in my book seem real. I'm very happy with the way it's coming out, my goal for this year is to finish one of my nanowrimo's and I really feel like its becoming a possibility. I'm excited to see how the story is going to come out, I wonder if you can see my improvement by reading it?

Hmmm... Guess we shall see.. In other news...

I'm ridiculously happy, feeling positive and looking forward to the future.

In about a weeks time I will be heading to the Dominican Republic to witness 2 of my best friends take a huge step towards their future together. I am so happy for them and honored to share that moment with them.

You're in my body... That's where I think about you

Over a month ago I met a boy...

He makes me feel cherished, special, treasured and adored.

I feel like anything is possible with him. I'm not worried about feeling strange or awkward in front of him, in fact, I feel like he embraces my weirdness.

That's a first for me...

The wall that I built around myself apparently had a secret door that he found and slipped right into. I've never felt this way before.

He's sooo amazing... strong but kind and gentle, he makes me laugh and smile, he's genuine, smart, charming, handsome and I trust him.

That's insane considering I've known him for such a short time but I don't even care. It feels so right. He's everything I could have hoped for and more.

I'm so lucky to have him in my life, it amazes me how much he gets and understands me... I'm so ridiculously happy to be with him.

Working

So I started a new job, I didn't mention until now because I didn't want to jinx it but now that it's slightly more secure and I've been doing it for about a month now I feel i can talk about it, the one downside to this job is that it's only for the summer, I'm really hoping it leads to something full time because I really enjoy working with this company.

Now you may be wondering l

"what do you do at your new job?"

Well I am responsible for coordinating activities for international students that are visiting NY to learn english also for acting as a representative for my company.

I have loved meeting people from different cultures and backgrounds, it's really enriching, I've already made a few friends with some of my groups, everyone is really great and receptive to learning new things.

I also get to run around the city and so far I've been to top of the rock 4 times and to the statue of liberty. It's pretty awesome.