My mind is open wide, Now I'm Ready to Start....

So many things are going on in my life right now

and at the same time not a lot is going on.

Recently I bought Krav Maga classes, 

I still haven't registered for them yet, 

I'll probably do that sometime this week, i'm really excited for them.

Also I saw a Livingsocial deal this week for Stunt training classes,

I'm considering signing up for these as well.

I feel like being adventurous lately.

I want to take advantage of every moment life has to offer me.

I'm just stressed right now.

and I think im coming down with a cold,

I'm like all achy and my eyes hurt and I've been running  fever.. 

but the weird thing is I haven't felt the typical sick.

Starting to realize this post isnt really about anything in particular, I just felt like I had to write.

 *Side note* I want to see The Host.

Can I make it better.. With the lights turned off

I give so much of myself with everything I do and lately I feel like I get get little to no return and that doesn't mean that I expect something in return but It does makes me feel sad and unappreciated.

maybe I'm just taking things too personally or maybe I should pull back and not give so much.
What do I do?

I'm scared of being taken advantage of and I'm scared of playing things to close to my chest.
I'm walking a very fine line.
I hate this feeling, like something's sitting on my chest and it hurts to breathe.

I think this will be a struggle that will plague me the rest of my life, finding the right amount I invest myself into something.

Crafty like a fox...

I've been crafting like crazy lately...

I love it!

Making things with my hands is so therapeutic for me.

List of things I've made over the past few months...

1. Coasters

2. Crochet crowns

3. Scarfs

4. Drawings

5. Gloves

...and there is more in the works.

I'm making decisions on things I want to put in my Etsy shop, I know for sure that I want to include the Crochet Crowns and I'm going to start making prints of my drawings. 

Also I'm feeling writey

So I feel some stories coming along as well as perhaps the conclusions of books I may have started. 

Who knows?

I'm not their hero but that doesn't mean that I wasn't brave

Im in love love love with Tegan and Sara's new album, 

its fun, 

amazing lyrically 

and makes me want to dance.

Who could ask for more?

My favorite song for the album right now is... 

(Drum roll)

"I'm not your Hero"

The song just speaks to me. 

I feel like it relates all the things I went though last year.

I feel like I started the year like the begining of the song 

"Standing where I am now, standing up at all
I was used to feeling like I was never gonna see myself at the finish line
Hanging on to parts of me, hanging on at all
I was used to seeing no future in my sight line"

I've come so far from where I was last January, 

I was feeling sad and I was questioning a lot of the things and people around me.

 I was really struggling and somewhere in the following months I decided that I needed to change my way of thinking and start looking towards the positive side of life.

This is where the second part of the song comes into play

 

 "Feeling like I am now lighting up the hall
I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart
Learning all I know now, losing all I did
I never used to feel like I'd be standing so far ahead"

I am so ridiculously happy.

I found someone that completely understands me and loves me no matter what.

I have been given the greatest gift.

*Side Note* I want pizza...

I'm gonna live, I'm gonna fly

I can't believe it's already the end of January, it went by so fast. 

I think that is because its been so busy lately.

Lets do a mini recap...

At the end of December was my Birthday and I turned 26, on the 22nd my cousin turned 27 and on the 26th my Boyfriend turned 28, between all of that I have been working at 2 jobs and trying to maintain a poor excuse for a social life.

 I wanted to create a list of some goals I want to accomplish for 2013

So here I go!

1. Enroll in Art classes

2. Get a new and exciting job that I enjoy

3. Go swimming on a regular basis

4. Finish my Nanowrimo, before the next Nanowrimo starts.

5. Take Circus classes

6. Read more then 25 books

7. Travel to 2 places I've never been before

8. Get my Etsy up and running and productive.

9. Have an adventure

10. Take more chances

11. Go to more Concerts

12. Blog more

Lately I find myself wanting to really give my Esty store a chance, 

I feel like I haven't been putting as much effort as I should into it. 

Its hard for me...

I work so hard on something that I think people will really dig 

and then it sits in my shop forever and never sells.

I get really discouraged when that happens.

 But I think its time for some change.

In the next few weeks I plan on revamping some things.

I am working on a new shop logo, new store policies and thinking of fun and new items to stock in my shop.

I'm also going to invest in advertizing and create some coupon codes.

I want to see a profit for a change...

I'm looking forward to the new year.

Twenty six

In My Mind

  By Amanda Palmer

In my mind
In a future five years from now
I'm one hundred and twenty pounds
And I never get hung over
Because I will be the picture of discipline
Never minding what state I'm in
And I will be someone I admire
And it's funny how I imagined
That I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I've just forgotten how to see
That I am not exactly the person that I thought I'd be

And in my mind
In the faraway here and now
I've become in control somehow
And I never lose my wallet
Because I will be the picture of of discipline
Never fucking up anything
And I'll be a good defensive driver
And it's funny how I imagined
That I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened
Maybe I've just forgotten how to see
That I'll never be the person that I thought I'd be

And in my mind
When I'm old I am beautiful
Planting tulips and vegetables
Which I will mindfully watch over
Not like me now
I'm so busy with everything
That I don't look at anything
But I'm sure I'll look when I am older
And it's funny how I imagined
That I could be that person now
But that's not what I want
But that's what I wanted
And I'd be giving up somehow
How strange to see
That I don't wanna be the person that I want to be

And in my mind
I imagine so many things
Things that aren't really happening
And when they put me in the ground
I'll start pounding the lid
Saying I haven't finished yet
I still have a tattoo to get
That says I'm living in the moment
And it's funny how I imagined
That I could win this, win this fight
But maybe it isn't all that funny
That I've been fighting all my life
But maybe I have to think it's funny
If I wanna live before I die
And maybe it's funniest of all
To think I'll die before I actually see
That I am exactly the person that I want to be

Fuck yes
I am exactly the person that I want to be

Books make great gifts because they have whole worlds inside of them...

Books how I love them, they are warm and welcoming, adventurous, exciting, sad, scary and can sometimes lead you to the edge of your seat.
They are better then movies and keeps the monotony of everyday life at bay.
MY mother always stressed the importance of reading books.
I used to love our trips to the library, 
I still remember when I received my very own library card,
it was a very big deal.

To quote my favorite author:

“Don't ever apologize to an author for buying something in paperback, or taking it out from a library (that's what they're there for. Use your library). Don't apologize to this author for buying books second hand, or getting them from book crossing or borrowing a friend's copy. What's important to me is that people read the books and enjoy them, and that, at some point in there, the book was bought by someone. And that people who like things, tell other people. The most important thing is that people read... ”
― Neil Gaiman

Always an inspiration to me.
 I try and read as much as possible, there are times when I am almost inhaling books.
For me reading is not only an escape from reality, it is also a release.
I get to go on great adventures, 
fight wars and feel emotional events through the eyes of a heroine or hero.
I can go on and on about my love of books but I will stop here...

Anyhoo, here is a list of books that I read in 2012.
(Although this is not a list of everything I have read, as of late I have been reading books written by independent authors from a great website called "Wattpad" which is also available as an app.)

 I am hoping that next year I will read a lot more then this... well that's the goal anyway...

*SideNote* Go to your local library and take out a book!!

My Bucket List

A list of goals to be completed before my end.

I will update and re-post this as I accomplish or add goals.

1. Fly a plane

2. Finish a crocheted blanket

3. Watch baby sea turtles hatch and return to sea.

4. Learn a language fluently

5. Be on Cash Cab

6. Travel the world

London

Paris

Italy

Ireland

Hungry

Greece

Germany

Czech Republic

Dominican Republic

Austria

Slovakia 

 India

Japan

Australia

Lebanon

 Amsterdam

Russia

New Zealand 

Canada

Spain

Mexico

Romania

Denmark

To be Continued...

7. Meet Neil Gaiman

8. Finish my book
9. Get my book Published

10. Go kayaking

11. Go to a tropical beach and spend the day listening to my ipod

12. Be on the news

13.Learn Chinese Silks

14.Get a song shop song by Max Bemis

15. See Death Cab for Cutie Live

16. Learn to ride a Vespa

17. Ride a wave via surfing

18. Learn to Snowboard

19. Row a boat in central park

20. Go to Loch Ness and See Loch Ness monster

21. Learn to breathe fire

22. Adopt a dog

23. Watch a flash mob in person

24. Ride an Elephant

25. Learn the art of Blowing glass

26.Start my own Etsy store and sell my art work

27. Live in Puerto Rico for a year

28. See The Killers Live

29. Buy a Vespa

30. Visit every state in the USA

New York

Florida

New Jersey

Pennsylvania

Georgia

Connecticut

Nevada

Wyoming

South Dakota

Montana

Idaho

Utah 

Illinois

Virgina

North Carolina

To be Continued...

31. Visit Harry Potter world.

32. Ride a horse

33. Touch or swim with a whale

34. See the Northern lights

35. Join the Circus

36. Fly on a trapeze
37. Learn to juggle

To be Continued and Updated...