A stabbing pain that says I lack

I don't usually talk about my relationships (Past or Present) on my blog

but it's something I have been thinking about a lot lately

So to put my mind at ease here I go.

I was recently dating someone.

This is the first real dating I had done since my last relationship.

I thought the dates went well but I guess I was mistaken.

(I really liked him)

It just got me thinking...

and thinking for me is very bad...

I tend to dwell on things to the point where I over analyze...

but anyway the conclusion I have come to is...

I am unlucky in love.

At this point I feel like there has to be something wrong with me...

I am aware that I'm not perfect

I am stubborn, slightly pessimistic and can be moody

But I am also a good person.

I am easy going, fairly smart, creative, funny, honest and generous.

So I don't quite understand why I'm single.

Maybe I don't put myself out there enough or maybe It's just not in the cards for me.

I started looking back at past relationships to see what went wrong.

and here are reasons some of the relationships didn't work

1. I was trying to be something that I wasn't.

2. He couldn't accept me the way I was.

3. I wasn't ready for a relationship and I regret that.

(The only guy who ever treated me right)

4. He was to attached to me and that scared me

5. He used me and I let him.

6. They led me on

Most of my relationships ended badly and we couldn't remain friends,

I found that some of them resented me after the relationship.

I would even go as far as to say they hate me.

I could never really understand why,

I mean If I broke up with them I was just be honest with myself and the way I felt.

Whats the point of leading them on.

It would only hurt them and me more later.

It's just really disappointing, I always end up getting hurt.

Right when I start to let a guy past my defences, they just let me down.

It never fails, and now I expect it.

I don't want to be the girl that has been burned so many times, she cant let anyone in.

I fear that I am becoming just that.

I am very independent and I have a hard time asking for help.

I do not need a man

but it would be nice to have someone to share those little moments in life with.

Guys say they want the nice girl but I'm learning different.

*Side note* If you don't like me just tell me, I won't be upset, I promise.

Just don't have me believing that you do.

Not to mention its a waste of my time.

Let's fight crime with mango's and Lime's

I have been listening to Plain White T's "1,2,3,4" non-stop...

It's a problem, I'm going to meetings once a week.

Anywho, Lately I have been kind of a social leper, I haven't left my house, which can't be good for my social life. SO tonight I went to visit my friend Banana at work.

I ended up staying and watching a movie.

Thank's Banana

My sister and I were discussing the fact that people are abnormal.

Everyone has a flaw somewhere, some are just better at hiding it.

My sister for example like little boys. Creepy....jk

She just likes younger guys.

This is what she looks like. just kidding!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!