I don't usually talk about my relationships (Past or Present) on my blog
but it's something I have been thinking about a lot lately
So to put my mind at ease here I go.
I was recently dating someone.
This is the first real dating I had done since my last relationship.
I thought the dates went well but I guess I was mistaken.
(I really liked him)
It just got me thinking...
and thinking for me is very bad...
I tend to dwell on things to the point where I over analyze...
but anyway the conclusion I have come to is...
I am unlucky in love.
At this point I feel like there has to be something wrong with me...
I am aware that I'm not perfect
I am stubborn, slightly pessimistic and can be moody
But I am also a good person.I am easy going, fairly smart, creative, funny, honest and generous.
So I don't quite understand why I'm single.
Maybe I don't put myself out there enough or maybe It's just not in the cards for me.
I started looking back at past relationships to see what went wrong.
and here are reasons some of the relationships didn't work
1. I was trying to be something that I wasn't.
2. He couldn't accept me the way I was.
3. I wasn't ready for a relationship and I regret that.
(The only guy who ever treated me right)
4. He was to attached to me and that scared me
5. He used me and I let him.
6. They led me on
Most of my relationships ended badly and we couldn't remain friends,
I found that some of them resented me after the relationship.
I would even go as far as to say they hate me.
I could never really understand why,
I mean If I broke up with them I was just be honest with myself and the way I felt.
Whats the point of leading them on.
It would only hurt them and me more later.
It's just really disappointing, I always end up getting hurt.
Right when I start to let a guy past my defences, they just let me down.
It never fails, and now I expect it.
I don't want to be the girl that has been burned so many times, she cant let anyone in.
I fear that I am becoming just that.
I am very independent and I have a hard time asking for help.
I do not need a man
but it would be nice to have someone to share those little moments in life with.
Guys say they want the nice girl but I'm learning different.
*Side note* If you don't like me just tell me, I won't be upset, I promise.
Just don't have me believing that you do.
Not to mention its a waste of my time.